What's Beyond Our American Denial?

Issue 26

positivelygospel.com

Writing in The Atlantic earlier this month, Ibram X. Kendi posits that “denial is the heartbeat of America.” I concur. He compiled a slew of very recent examples — post-Capitol insurrection — which I lift here with gratitude for easy reference:

“Let me be very clear: The scenes of chaos at the Capitol do not reflect a true America. Do not represent who we are,” President-elect Joe Biden said during Wednesday’s siege.

“The behavior we witnessed in the U.S. Capitol is entirely un-American,” read a statement from a bipartisan and bicameral group of elected officials.

“That’s not who we are,” Senator Ben Sasse said.

“This is not the America I know and love,” Representative Brenda Lawrence said.

“I know this is not our America,” Representative Ed Case said.

“This is not who we are,” Representative Nancy Mace said.

“This is how election results are disputed in a banana republic—not our democratic republic,” Republican former President George W. Bush said.

“This is a national tragedy and is not who we are as a nation,” Democratic former President Jimmy Carter said.

Of course it’s who we are and we deny who we are at our collective peril.

Kendi goes on to say that “the heartbeat of racism is denial” and, again, I concur. It’s hard not to. Our American history is rife with racism and denial of racism. We also deny — on a governmental level — that we lied about going to war in Iraq or that any of our wars or weapons are not always the forces of good we purport them to be. We deny that our health care system lags behind every other industrialized nation in terms of cost and outcomes. We deny our financial system is rigged against the masses. We deny human trafficking. We deny child sex trafficking. We deny that we, Americans, tortured and abused babies and children and ripped families apart — on our soil — on purpose, in all our names. Just now. We deny domestic terrorism and call armed insurrection riot. And that’s just off the top of my head.

Denial is a refusal to accept the truth. It’s not an inability; it’s a refusal. It’s an unwillingness. It’s a choice. Why deny? Simple: we don’t want others to know something about who we are. We don’t want ourselves to know something about who we are. That’s all and that’s a lot. It’s called shame (which Kendi calls out as well). It’s also called fear. It’s also called guilt.

If we want it, it’s our job to intend it. If we want it, it’s our job to believe it’s possible.

We deny at our peril because denial is untruth and untruth does not exist in the beckoning new consciousness. There, truth is foundational. It’s absolute. Denial is denied entrance. Banned. So. When we insist on saying “this is not who we are,” I believe we are really saying “this is not who we want to be.” And when we conscious humans find ourselves in a place of wanting to be something we are not (yet), we start setting intentions for what it is we want. And when we are about the business of setting shiny, clear intentions, we are being productive and creative. So let’s roll.

Good news! Much of our work has already been done. To be sure, the question about who we want to be as Americans has already been answered. Repeatedly. Has it not? We want all people in our society to be treated equally. We want equity. Fairness. Freedom. Justice. The rule of law. Unity. To be a democracy. To pursue our happiness. To be a shining city on a hill. Dare I say we want to be a compassionate society? I do! That’s the new consciousness, baby. It’s upon us, and we can hasten its arrival with a mere decision to do so.

What about the shame (we are bad people), you ask? The guilt (we did bad things)? The fear (everyone will hate us)? We conscious politics practitioners know that shame, guilt, and fear are extremely common relics of the old consciousness. Indeed, we know that our approach to ending denial as we know it begins with our willingness, our decision, to take responsibility. We don’t blame. We tell the truth. We own up to what we did. We accept, without judgment, that we are where we are. Fully present. We hold ourselves accountable with integrity. We make amends with compassion. I’ve had “truth and reconciliation commission” on my mind for years, but that’s just me. Regardless of the format, all of this comes with a vulnerability price tag. Suck it up and tell the truth and be done with it because that vulnerability engenders trust. And when we have trust, we have everything. When we have trust as a society, we have a floor, a foundation upon which to build anything we want. If it were up to me it would start with everyone feeling physically safe and secure, everyone being financially comfortable, everyone having a place to live, everyone having health care. But enough about me.

We are so very practiced in and habituated to our denial. It is such second-nature that we deny we deny — and it’s destroying us. We either we go down with the ship or we make it our business to be as practiced in and habituated to being intentional about what we want as we have been practiced in and habituated to our denial. If we want it, it’s our job to intend it. If we want it, it’s our job to believe it’s possible. We intend it by articulating and repeating it (which we should be doing together). We believe it’s possible by choosing to believe it’s possible.

Even with so much to reckon with, America has a head start on the new consciousness. Our stated ideals and values have long been aligned with it. We have said who we want to be, we have often-not-always been it, and now, by taking responsibility, it’s our time. It’s our time to get our foot off the brake of denial and go pedal to the metal into being the country we say we want to be.

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